Bring Me Solo and the Wookie

Good Morning everyone!  Sorry I didn't update yesterday.  I was really busy.  I got a new job!  Also, it was the first day of my last semester of school.  With all that going on I forgot to weigh myself before had my "breakfast" so I didn't have an accurate weight to report.  Don't worry I still haven't had anything but juice and water.  This morning I was 278.

Had another unexpected bit of awesome from this diet yesterday.  You know how it's really hard to give a pee sample to the nurse without keeping your dignity?  I mean you're handing this poor woman a glass of your warm piss.  There is no way to do that without your relationship changing.  Wanna make it worse?  Try handing her some beet-pink wee-wee and take a look at her face.  Before the pee test I was talking to her, things were friendly,  then boom.  Cherry-koolaid.  I actually said "sorry" when I gave it to her.  I don't think it made things any better.  The damage was done.  She looked sad  and said "Okay.  You can go".

I've known for years, but I am really starting to hate that I have no lower body.  All of my weight is stomach.  I have got these two little toothpicks legs and a Santa Claus upper body.  If you were to see a picture of me from the waist down I'd look like the whitest Kenyan long distance runner ever, from the waist up you'd expect to see Han Solo frozen in carbonite on the wall behind me.

I don't even know what I had to drink yesterday.

Something with beets that tasted like hate.

Something with ginger.

Something green.  Probably kale.

My neighbor had homemade lasagna and invited the whole neighborhood over.  I had water.